Monday, November 26, 2018

Don't chase happiness to be happy

I used to write about happiness at work.  I felt it was possible to have 'happy' workplaces even though the general consensus at the time was that work was work and the intent was not to bring happiness so focus on the work rather than employees' happiness.

And then I stopped writing about happiness all together because everyone seemed to be talking about happiness and there seemed to be this big chase and competition for who could be the most happy.  And if you weren't happy, you were unsuccessful.  With all the talk of happiness, it seemed there was less and less happy.

This conflicted with how I felt.  So I became cautious of using the word happy.

Don't get me wrong.  I have always felt, and still do feel, that happiness is one of many emotions that feels good.  It is nice to be happy.  I like being happy.  But I'm learning not to chase it.

Instead, and what I really meant by happiness, was that we can find joy and curiosity in work, life, and many situations.  Even many of the tough ones do not have to bring complete dread.  But if they do, that is OK too.  Because if we don't allow dread when dread arises, we'll simply always have that dread within us.  Society tells us not to feel anything but happy.  So when we are not happy, we feel not acceptable by society.  Yet, happy will come and go and so will all other feelings.

Happiness... the kind I'm talking about.... that deep down joy and peace kind of happy... comes when we stop chasing anything and accept all that comes.  It is more about not desiring anything to be different.  With that will come the courage to sometimes be unacceptable by society as a whole.  It is also about cultivating joy in the situations that it is felt.

So stop the chase.  Accept and embrace whatever comes - yes, even the dreadful stuff.  Don't get stuck it in... let it pass through.  Because it will.  Have the courage to honor all emotions that arise and possibly be perceived by others as unacceptable in your emotions.  And THEN, you will have that deep down joy kind of happy.

To your 'happiness' :)



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