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Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Life Throws Wrenches

Wow... Life has thrown a lot of wrenches at me lately. I am happy to say, I'm managing it all, though. I slipped last week... was late for events, forgot things, missed things, and had to compromise a bunch. And I managed it. I also managed to organize quite a successful Karma Yoga class. My heart is still full from the generous donations to the Single Parent Association of Newfoundland. Christmas really does bring out the beauty in people.

Oh, and I even baked Christmas cookies. Yes. Imagine! I have not been very 'domesticated' for quite a few years. As a single mom, I focused on career, raising my oldest daughter, and personal wellness. I cooked a bit... but baked cookies came from Nanny:) And our very small house (or apartments) meant very little need for much domestication. One year we did not have a Christmas tree. *Bliss* Oh... did I type that?

Ok... I digress... Christmas makes me nostalgic...

Back to the wrenches....

So I had a big intention to switch my website over to a new provider and redesign it... in November. My intention for December was to get caught up on some financial stuff I'm behind on. I have progressed a little bit on the website (it takes a while), but the financials are a bit messy. I know... this does not sound very yogi-like. Well.... it is. Yogi-like is not perfection. It is about becoming more aware of your true Self. And I have discovered a few things I don't necessarily like about myself.... like I tend to ignore things I fear... like my financials. However, now that I am aware of that, I work toward addressing things face on. I'm not perfect. I'm very imperfect, in fact. But I'm working on being more disciplined in this area.

What does this have to do with wrenches?

Well, I had these intentions to be productive in my business. Focused. So I can start 2017 fresh and clean... business-wise. However, all these things got in the way. The wrenches.

If you're following me on Facebook or Instagram, you probably know I'm renovating... and I bought a lemon for a house. When we moved into our new home in late August, we had dreams of doing a few renos and being all settled within a month. Lol! We are here for 3 1/2 months now... nothing is finished. In fact, with leaks and significant issues with plumbing and electrical, we are also into this a lot more financially than expected. One of our reasons for this move was to simplify our lives and our finances. That has not come to fruition yet. But we still believe it will. So the house and the renovations and the finances have all been pretty big wrenches.

A couple of weeks ago, I posted on my Living Your Yoga Group Facebook Page about Savasana - Corpse Pose - and asked how people felt about it and the idea of death. There were varying responses. I began contemplating death about 10 years ago or more. I remember I bought a book about death... but I did not read it. Our society fears death and we tend to not talk about it and sugar coat it with our children. So, I'm trying to instil a healthy attitude about death in my children... and myself.

Funnily, the concept of death arose in my Yoga Nidra course a few weeks ago. Then, within a week, I had two funerals/wakes to attend and condolences to send to a good friend. Three deaths just after I posted about death. I could write a whole blog... or maybe a book... about death (not to mention the idea of death that came with depression). But I will digress again and suffice it to say, for now, that these were more wrenches in my plans.

I follow a few inspirational leaders and coaches and intentions are huge in those groups. In yoga, intentions are huge. In mindfulness, intentions are huge. I hold sessions called (Re)Create Your Vision where we design our intentions. Intentions are powerful. And I fully believe in them. They work.

But here's the thing. Life throws wrenches. Plans rarely go as planned. Intentions are not goals. Intentions are a way of being. Goals are concrete, measurable, and action-oriented. We can actually stick to our intentions and not meet our goals. Wrenches will delay or change our goals, while intentions can be held even when the wrenches come our way.

We can be happy and fulfilled and content when we do not meet our goals. If we do not fulfill our intentions, we may not be happy and fulfilled and content. (This takes practice, of course!)

My GOALS were to redesign my website and get up to date with my financials. My INTENTION was to work ON my business while balancing life and working IN my business. Balance. My intention was balance. My intention was also progression. And, if I really think about it.... my intention since January 2016 (I even wrote a blog post about it) has been FREEDOM.

Freedom from depression. Freedom from grasping. Freedom from inertia. Freedom from overwhelm.
For me, freedom is non-attachment. Detachment from my goals. Detachment from rumination. Detachment from limiting beliefs and fears. Detachment from expectations.

This is how we can be happy and fulfilled and content even when we do not meet our goals. When we can detach from outcomes, it will not upset our contentment when our plans go off track.

In the last few months, as I did not meet my goals, I continued to manage my freedom. And my balance. I still have a website to redesign and financials to complete. However, I progressed in my business in other ways... AND... I'm not feeling stressed. I have moments of feeling stressed, but I manage them.

Stress is all around me. I have moments of growling. Lol! But, overall, I've managed it all. I'm not in the hole of depression and I'm not entangled in anxiety. I'm feeling pretty free.

As we move towards the end of 2016, I realize this has been a big year for me. I may not have met my business goals, but boy, did I ever progress in my freedom. And that, for me, is what life is really all about.

So, yes, life throws us wrenches. It always will. It does not mean your life is no longer wonderful.

Because it is life itself that is wonderful.

To learn more about (Re)Create Your Vision or any of my yoga, mindfulness, or meditation programs, connect with me at tina@pomroy.ca.