Discipline is Not a Dirty Word

As much as I create goals for myself and accomplish them, I struggle with being disciplined.  It's like I have a block.  So... in my quest for self-mastery, last month I decided I was going to focus on improving my discipline.  It's no longer a dirty word (if you know me professionally, you know how I do not like the word 'discipline' for managing performance:).

I chose to be more disciplined with my running.  And guess what?  I managed to increase my frequency and endurance from a weekly 10-12k to 2-3 runs per week and a 20k!  Success due to INTENT!  This weekend I'll run a 1/2 marathon.  My first.  Interestingly, though, that's not my goal... my goal is to run a 20k, very hilly race in October.  It's more difficult than the 21.1k half marathon I'll run this coming Sunday.  And so, my discipline must continue.  I can't let it go after Sunday's race, which is so typical of me.

Discipline.  I struggle with it.  I just ate chips for my morning snack!  So now that I got my running kinda sorta under control.... kinda.... sorta.... I want to become more disciplined with my meals.  I skipped breakfast for many years.  Yep... I'm the one that worked through lunch too... maybe grabbing a banana and eating it at my desk.... oh and coffee... lots of coffee.  And then while preparing supper, I ate everything in sight... that is if I managed to get home in time to prepare supper.  My daughter was at the dance studio all the time so I just worked in a coffee shop while she danced... and I drank more coffee.  Then we'd have late supper and probably get take out.  Amazingly, I studied Dietetics and KNOW how bad these habits are.

For the past two years, I've been working on preparing meals.  Yep.  Two years.  And I just ate chips at 11 a.m.!  Yes.... discipline.  That's how it goes, hey?  I once read that self-discipline is like training a muscle.  Train it and it becomes stronger.  Don't train it and it weakens.  I guess I started with a very, very weak meal preparation muscle (hard to believe this, but I'm actually a good cook).

I used to beat myself up that I wasn't self-disciplined.  As a child, teen, and young adult, I was lucky enough that things often came easily to me... I received good grades with minimal effort.  I was blessed with a fairly good metabolism so could indulge and not gain weight (not so now!).  I learned new things quickly.  I increased athletic ability fast.  I was labeled a 'natural' in my musical talent.  I was the youngest in my class to be selected for ballet exams.  I didn't have to work really hard to get what I wanted.  But not exercising my discipline meant it weakened.  My talents and abilities did not grow.  And the beating up began.  For years.  But that's over now.  Phew!  And so is not having to work hard to get what I want.

So I'm continuing to work on self-discipline with my running and meals.  And this month, I've also added another item to my 'self-mastery' list: reduce or eliminate negative conversations.  It's amazing how one can be called a 'positive person' yet have so many negative conversations.......

Namaste