Presence for Presents

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.  A lot of people were lonelier than normal.  A lot of people were cynical.  And a lot of people celebrated their love for their loved ones.  I am thankful I'm one of the celebratory ones, but I was once lonely and cynical.

One year my best friend left a voice mail on my work phone singing "Happy f***ing valentine's to you" to the tune of Happy Birthday.  As hilarious as that was, we were both single and this was exactly how we felt at that time.  But... we did talk to each other and that was, as always, wonderful.

Another Valentine's day I was working into the night... single yet again... and a colleague and I decided to go to dinner.  We went to a fancy schmancy restaurant that was filled with loving couples staring into each other's eyes.  Roses and candles adorned the tables of two and there was a Valentine's special for dinner.  We made our cynical remarks and then had a fabulous dinner with great conversation.

I learned over the years that Valentine's isn't just for couples!  Yahoo for that!  Of course, I always treated my oldest daughter to treats on Valentine's day.  But I created a wall and didn't want any stereotypical Valentine's gifts, even if there was a man in the picture.  Yes, give me wine:)  And chocolate... but not the heart shaped box... I want the kind I like.  And yes, pick flowers and arrange them yourself and write your own poem and bake cookies from scratch... indeed all those things would have been wonderful.  But don't go to the supermarket and buy me flowers and a heart shaped box of chocolates!  And, so, I didn't get anything - even if there was a man.

Well, a few years ago I met Terry... my most amazing and wonderful Valentine.  Cynicism has gone out the window!  Our first year together he gave me a dozen colorful roses.  We were snowboarding in Corner Brook - I had work there, and he flew out of there for work in British Columbia.  He had them laid on the hotel room bed when I came back from my long couple of days managing a final retreat for a project I led.  My eyes lit up and I was sooooooooo happy to receive them!  Seriously.  And he likely picked them up at a supermarket along with the hundreds of other men.  I was totally ok with that.

Last year we were in Singapore.  He arrived home with a bunch of flowers for me, a bunch of flowers for  my daughter, and a bunch of our favorite foods to have for supper that night.  Perfect.  Time together.

This year, we opted for no presents, rather presence.  We went to a heart flow yoga class together.  It was a perfect way to connect and celebrate love.  And that's what it's about.  With anyone and anything.  With yourself.  I highly recommend it for singles and couples.

Namaste

P.S.  I gave my teen chocolates and my time (while she had a hard time not being attached to her phone), and my babe gave me kisses and nips.... errrr... snuggles... to the breast.